1
00:00:00,001 --> 00:00:04,001
- Synced and corrected by Firefly -
- www.addic7ed.com -

2
00:00:14,806 --> 00:00:15,807
Right.

3
00:00:28,362 --> 00:00:29,528
Who the hell are you?

4
00:00:29,530 --> 00:00:32,656
Oh, hi! Hello. I'm... I'm Will.
I'm the new clubhouse attendant.

5
00:00:32,658 --> 00:00:34,908
No, you're not. I'm the
clubhouse attendant.

6
00:00:34,910 --> 00:00:36,409
Hey, Higgins, where are you?

7
00:00:36,411 --> 00:00:37,577
Ted, what the fuck's going on?

8
00:00:37,579 --> 00:00:39,287
I don't know. I'm trying
to figure it out myself.

9
00:00:39,289 --> 00:00:41,414
- Figure what out? Have I been sacked?
- Has he been fired?

10
00:00:41,416 --> 00:00:42,999
I don't know anything about this, Ted.

11
00:00:43,001 --> 00:00:44,084
- There you are.
- There you are.

12
00:00:44,086 --> 00:00:45,961
- Is this because I called Isaac a pussy?
- I don't know...

13
00:00:45,963 --> 00:00:47,245
Good morning, everyone.

14
00:00:47,247 --> 00:00:49,631
You shrew. You did this, didn't you?

15
00:00:49,633 --> 00:00:51,132
Why so hostile, Nathan?

16
00:00:51,134 --> 00:00:52,926
Right, I'll tell you why...

17
00:00:52,928 --> 00:00:54,010
You know my name?

18
00:00:54,012 --> 00:00:56,557
Well, I had to spell it
correctly for your contract.

19
00:00:57,641 --> 00:01:00,892
Nate-dawg, you haven't
been fired. It's worse.

20
00:01:00,894 --> 00:01:02,602
You've been promoted.

21
00:01:11,405 --> 00:01:14,324
Nate! Nate! Nate!

22
00:01:22,749 --> 00:01:25,002
Ooh.

23
00:01:26,962 --> 00:01:30,755
Nathan Shelley, I present
to you this whistle.

24
00:01:30,757 --> 00:01:32,340
But it is sad. Do you know why?

25
00:01:32,342 --> 00:01:34,926
- No.
- Because it has never been blown.

26
00:01:34,928 --> 00:01:36,636
Is that the same reason why Colin's sad?

27
00:01:39,600 --> 00:01:42,976
By the power vested in me by the
Associative Football Club of Richmond,

28
00:01:42,978 --> 00:01:45,814
I now pronounce you Coach Nate.

29
00:01:46,648 --> 00:01:48,168
Thanks a lot. Thank you.

30
00:01:49,401 --> 00:01:51,193
No, no! Not inside.

31
00:01:51,195 --> 00:01:52,277
Sorry. Sorry.

32
00:02:14,343 --> 00:02:16,676
It got confusing, 'cause they
don't call it jock itch here.

33
00:02:16,678 --> 00:02:18,220
So you didn't know what spray to buy?

34
00:02:18,222 --> 00:02:19,721
- Yeah.
- Yeah. What'd you go with?

35
00:02:19,723 --> 00:02:20,805
Mr Muscle.

36
00:02:20,807 --> 00:02:22,182
Huh.

37
00:02:22,184 --> 00:02:23,391
Hey, Roy.

38
00:02:23,393 --> 00:02:24,643
Not sure if you know this,

39
00:02:24,645 --> 00:02:27,395
but the rules say you
gotta pick a new captain.

40
00:02:27,397 --> 00:02:28,398
Oh.

41
00:02:29,608 --> 00:02:32,317
No, sir. You're my
captain. That's the rule.

42
00:02:32,319 --> 00:02:36,240
No. The, uh, captain has to be
on the pitch. That's the rule.

43
00:02:37,282 --> 00:02:40,325
I say that the current captain
has to pick the new captain.

44
00:02:40,327 --> 00:02:41,910
That's my new rule.

45
00:02:41,912 --> 00:02:43,286
Don't want to.

46
00:02:43,288 --> 00:02:44,289
Well, you have to.

47
00:02:45,749 --> 00:02:48,583
- I decline.
- I insist.

48
00:02:48,585 --> 00:02:50,210
Can't make me.

49
00:02:50,212 --> 00:02:53,839
Roy Kent, until you
choose your successor,

50
00:02:53,841 --> 00:02:58,262
your duties as captain of
this squad remain unfulfilled.

51
00:03:00,597 --> 00:03:02,140
This is why it's hard to love you.

52
00:03:03,225 --> 00:03:04,933
Oh.

53
00:03:04,935 --> 00:03:06,601
You heard it, right?

54
00:03:06,603 --> 00:03:07,894
He loves you.

55
00:03:07,896 --> 00:03:10,146
All right, gang.
Here's the unskinny bop.

56
00:03:10,148 --> 00:03:13,483
Manchester City is coming into
our house for the final match,

57
00:03:13,485 --> 00:03:16,319
but preparation-wise, we gonna
treat it like it's any other game.

58
00:03:16,321 --> 00:03:19,030
But it's not just any other game.
We could get relegated.

59
00:03:19,032 --> 00:03:22,075
We got relegated when I was
at Cardiff. It's my family's team.

60
00:03:22,077 --> 00:03:23,869
My nana never spoke to me after that.

61
00:03:23,871 --> 00:03:25,620
She just left me a box
of her shit in her will.

62
00:03:25,622 --> 00:03:27,873
Yeah, and when clubs go
down, teams get broken up.

63
00:03:27,875 --> 00:03:30,333
Coach, do they not have
relegation in America?

64
00:03:30,335 --> 00:03:31,751
Oh, no, no, no.

65
00:03:31,753 --> 00:03:33,962
So what happens to all the shit
teams at the end of the season?

66
00:03:33,964 --> 00:03:35,672
They play out the rest of the schedule,

67
00:03:35,674 --> 00:03:37,841
going through the motions
in meaningless games

68
00:03:37,843 --> 00:03:39,968
contested in lifeless,
half-empty stadiums,

69
00:03:39,970 --> 00:03:41,720
and everyone's pretty
much fine with that.

70
00:03:41,722 --> 00:03:44,057
- That sound about right, Coach?
- Yeah, it's dumb.

71
00:03:44,975 --> 00:03:46,850
All right. Now, Coach Nate...

72
00:03:46,852 --> 00:03:48,101
No, no, no.

73
00:03:48,103 --> 00:03:49,603
- Not... No, not here.
- Not inside.

74
00:03:49,605 --> 00:03:52,131
I was saying, now Coach Nate
has a video he wants to show.

75
00:03:52,133 --> 00:03:53,523
Oh, yeah. Sorry.

76
00:03:53,525 --> 00:03:54,942
Okay.

77
00:03:54,944 --> 00:03:59,112
So, um, I thought you'd
all find this, uh, motivational.

78
00:03:59,114 --> 00:04:00,655
All right.

79
00:04:02,034 --> 00:04:03,116
Amigo Jamie.

80
00:04:03,118 --> 00:04:05,370
Clearly no barbers in Manchester.

81
00:04:06,330 --> 00:04:08,872
Well, I'd never say a bad
word about me old club...

82
00:04:11,001 --> 00:04:13,001
... even though I did carry
them through every match.

83
00:04:13,003 --> 00:04:14,628
But they're good lads.

84
00:04:14,630 --> 00:04:17,255
Apart from Roy Kent. He is a knob.

85
00:04:17,257 --> 00:04:21,092
You know, and it's nice to
have a real manager like Pep,

86
00:04:21,094 --> 00:04:22,804
instead of that American rodeo clown.

87
00:04:23,639 --> 00:04:26,932
You know, Lasso sent me away,
now they're facing the drop.

88
00:04:26,934 --> 00:04:29,351
Sunday, I get to put
the final nail in the ashes.

89
00:04:29,353 --> 00:04:31,937
Instant karma, it's gonna get ya.

90
00:04:34,441 --> 00:04:35,524
Oops, innit?

91
00:04:35,526 --> 00:04:36,583
Well said.

92
00:04:36,585 --> 00:04:38,385
All right, let's go climb that mountain!

93
00:04:39,321 --> 00:04:41,363
Okay, so if the Premier
League is the best,

94
00:04:41,365 --> 00:04:43,615
then what's the league
called right below it?

95
00:04:43,617 --> 00:04:45,200
The Championship.

96
00:04:45,202 --> 00:04:46,298
Now, hold on one second.

97
00:04:46,300 --> 00:04:48,495
So if you come in last place
in the Premier League,

98
00:04:48,497 --> 00:04:50,163
you get to play in the Championship?

99
00:04:50,165 --> 00:04:52,457
They also invented irony.

100
00:04:52,459 --> 00:04:54,918
Man, this town has got a
weird way with words, don't it?

101
00:04:54,920 --> 00:04:57,838
I mean, come on, y'all. It's 2020.
Let's just call 'em cigarettes.

102
00:04:57,840 --> 00:05:00,549
- Oh, God, yeah.
- You know what I mean?

103
00:05:00,551 --> 00:05:02,425
Hey. How you doing, fellas?

104
00:05:02,427 --> 00:05:04,719
We, uh, just wanted to say thanks.

105
00:05:04,721 --> 00:05:06,221
Yeah, we know you did your best.

106
00:05:06,223 --> 00:05:08,139
Even though your best is still shit.

107
00:05:08,141 --> 00:05:10,141
- Baz.
- Oh, come on, now.

108
00:05:10,143 --> 00:05:12,561
You're acting like we lost
the game already, yeah?

109
00:05:12,563 --> 00:05:14,771
Why don't you have a little hope?

110
00:05:15,899 --> 00:05:19,985
Aw, Ted. Haven't you lived
here long enough to realize?

111
00:05:19,987 --> 00:05:21,730
It's the hope that kills you.

112
00:05:25,200 --> 00:05:27,995
Why don't you text Nate? We got
a little work to do tonight, huh?

113
00:05:29,246 --> 00:05:33,832
Okay, come on. We got this.
Look, we win, we're in, okay?

114
00:05:33,834 --> 00:05:36,918
There is a scenario where Crystal
Palace beat Norwich by six goals,

115
00:05:36,920 --> 00:05:38,753
and we avoid relegation with just a tie.

116
00:05:38,755 --> 00:05:40,922
No, no, no. Nope. Sorry. Uh-uh.

117
00:05:40,924 --> 00:05:42,299
No. I hate ties, Nate.

118
00:05:42,301 --> 00:05:44,676
How many times I gotta tell you
that? They ain't natural, all right?

119
00:05:44,678 --> 00:05:47,012
If God wanted games to end in a tie,

120
00:05:47,014 --> 00:05:48,847
she wouldn't have invented
numbers, all right?

121
00:05:48,849 --> 00:05:50,974
Come on, guys. Let's fire up. Let's go.

122
00:05:50,976 --> 00:05:52,059
For the love of Meghan Markle,

123
00:05:52,061 --> 00:05:53,977
do not blow that whistle
again, Nate. I swear.

124
00:05:53,979 --> 00:05:55,228
- Sorry.
- I got neighbors upstairs,

125
00:05:55,230 --> 00:05:57,856
and they will just start
stomping away. Okay?

126
00:05:57,858 --> 00:06:00,317
Come on. Tell me how
we beat Manchester City.

127
00:06:00,319 --> 00:06:02,485
- We cannot beat Manchester City.
- Dang it, Nate!

128
00:06:02,487 --> 00:06:03,612
That is not what I want to hear

129
00:06:03,614 --> 00:06:05,197
from my assistant coach
on his first day.

130
00:06:05,199 --> 00:06:06,666
It is hopeless.

131
00:06:09,203 --> 00:06:10,577
Oh, I'm sorry. It's hopeless?

132
00:06:10,579 --> 00:06:11,955
- Yeah.
- Yeah?

133
00:06:23,509 --> 00:06:26,259
Quick question. Are those
the only clothes you own?

134
00:06:26,261 --> 00:06:28,096
This? No, I got three of these.

135
00:06:32,935 --> 00:06:37,020
That ring a bell, Nate? That ring
a very large bell in your head?

136
00:06:37,022 --> 00:06:38,447
You had that hanging in your home?

137
00:06:38,449 --> 00:06:39,815
I got a ton of these hanging up in here.

138
00:06:39,817 --> 00:06:41,316
This one's from the bathroom mirror.

139
00:06:41,318 --> 00:06:42,818
It's the first thing I
see every morning,

140
00:06:42,820 --> 00:06:44,194
and it's the last thing I see at night

141
00:06:44,196 --> 00:06:46,116
when I rationalize
being too tired to floss.

142
00:06:47,658 --> 00:06:49,449
Belief can't score goals, Coach.

143
00:06:49,451 --> 00:06:51,117
Well, hello, Nelson.

144
00:06:51,119 --> 00:06:53,370
Let me introduce you to
another Nelson right here.

145
00:06:53,372 --> 00:06:55,247
I think you two will
hit it off just fine,

146
00:06:55,249 --> 00:06:57,499
'cause you're both so damn pessimistic!

147
00:06:59,169 --> 00:07:00,669
Sorry, Ms. Shipley!

148
00:07:00,671 --> 00:07:02,296
I believe the gentleman is suggesting

149
00:07:02,298 --> 00:07:04,172
that we are a pair of Negative Nellies.

150
00:07:04,174 --> 00:07:06,258
Oh, right.

151
00:07:06,260 --> 00:07:07,759
Jackpot.

152
00:07:08,846 --> 00:07:11,638
Morning, boss. Here you are.

153
00:07:11,640 --> 00:07:13,349
Oh. Ted.

154
00:07:13,351 --> 00:07:16,434
I sense you're carrying around
something today besides biscuits.

155
00:07:16,436 --> 00:07:18,520
Good eye, small fry.

156
00:07:22,401 --> 00:07:23,650
I hate to say it, Rebecca,

157
00:07:23,652 --> 00:07:24,872
but I think your football club

158
00:07:24,874 --> 00:07:26,954
might have been better
off with a soccer coach.

159
00:07:26,956 --> 00:07:28,165
Where's this coming from?

160
00:07:28,167 --> 00:07:30,477
Look, if we do end up losing on Sunday,

161
00:07:30,479 --> 00:07:31,700
you just go ahead

162
00:07:31,702 --> 00:07:33,616
and do whatever you think is
best for the future of this club,

163
00:07:33,618 --> 00:07:34,619
you understand?

164
00:07:34,621 --> 00:07:36,725
Even if that means
this guy's gotta go...

165
00:07:38,000 --> 00:07:40,094
You know, you put
that thing, and just...

166
00:07:40,096 --> 00:07:41,334
You know, whatever you got.

167
00:07:41,336 --> 00:07:43,128
Whatever you wanna do. I
mean, don't really murder me,

168
00:07:43,130 --> 00:07:44,421
but, you know, just...

169
00:07:44,423 --> 00:07:45,922
All that. You get what I'm getting at?

170
00:07:45,924 --> 00:07:47,674
- Fire me. You get the gist. Yeah.
- Okay. Okay.

171
00:07:47,676 --> 00:07:50,010
So you think you're not a
"proper" football manager.

172
00:07:50,012 --> 00:07:53,054
Someone who's never played the
game before, or knows the rules.

173
00:07:53,056 --> 00:07:55,098
No, I don't know jack
diddly about any of it.

174
00:07:55,100 --> 00:07:58,226
But who cares? There's a
great saying in Dutch football.

175
00:07:58,228 --> 00:07:59,853
Oh, I don't speak Dutch.

176
00:07:59,855 --> 00:08:01,479
That's why I was going
to tell you in English.

177
00:08:01,481 --> 00:08:02,856
Perfect. Lay it on me.

178
00:08:02,858 --> 00:08:06,109
"Every disadvantage has its advantage".

179
00:08:06,111 --> 00:08:07,194
Ooh, I like that.

180
00:08:07,196 --> 00:08:08,905
Sure, you don't know what you're doing,

181
00:08:08,907 --> 00:08:11,357
but doesn't that mean that you
see the game in a different way

182
00:08:11,359 --> 00:08:13,111
than any other football manager?

183
00:08:14,203 --> 00:08:15,869
And shouldn't that empower you

184
00:08:15,871 --> 00:08:18,538
to cause complete and utter confusion?

185
00:08:18,540 --> 00:08:22,334
Cause confusion or create chaos.

186
00:08:22,336 --> 00:08:25,462
Yep. Yes, it is. Thanks, boss.

187
00:08:25,464 --> 00:08:27,966
Whoo-hoo!

188
00:08:29,927 --> 00:08:31,009
I'm fine.

189
00:08:31,011 --> 00:08:32,311
Oh, my God.

190
00:08:32,313 --> 00:08:34,731
The chaos has already begun. Whoo!

191
00:08:35,598 --> 00:08:38,224
All right, gentlemen.
School is in session.

192
00:08:38,226 --> 00:08:41,186
And today's lesson is "trick plays".

193
00:08:41,188 --> 00:08:42,896
At least, that's what
we call 'em back home.

194
00:08:42,898 --> 00:08:45,023
- What do they call 'em here again?
- Elaborate set pieces.

195
00:08:45,025 --> 00:08:47,400
Yeah, we gonna stick with
"trick plays". That's a lot more fun.

196
00:08:47,402 --> 00:08:49,277
Now, the idea behind every trick play

197
00:08:49,279 --> 00:08:54,616
is to have chaos rain down upon
your opponents and stun them.

198
00:08:54,618 --> 00:08:57,285
Much like the lava did to
those poor folks in Pompeii.

199
00:08:57,287 --> 00:08:58,935
So, I want y'all to think about

200
00:08:58,937 --> 00:09:00,956
every single trick play
you have ever run

201
00:09:00,958 --> 00:09:03,333
your entire time playing
this sport. Anybody got one?

202
00:09:03,335 --> 00:09:04,417
Yeah, Dani, what you got?

203
00:09:04,419 --> 00:09:06,962
When I played for Tigres,
we had a great set piece.

204
00:09:06,964 --> 00:09:08,547
- Did it have a name?
- "The Sandman".

205
00:09:08,549 --> 00:09:11,716
Yeah. Now we're cooking. "The Sandman".

206
00:09:11,718 --> 00:09:13,468
We're gonna learn that play
today. Who else got one?

207
00:09:13,470 --> 00:09:15,011
- "Pepper Shakers".
- "Pepper Shakers"?

208
00:09:15,013 --> 00:09:16,429
Yeah, plural. Gotta be two.

209
00:09:16,431 --> 00:09:17,639
"Beckham's Todger".

210
00:09:17,641 --> 00:09:19,474
Beckham, I know. Todger, I don't know.

211
00:09:19,476 --> 00:09:21,142
- It's dirty.
- Okay.

212
00:09:21,144 --> 00:09:22,310
"Midnight Poutine".

213
00:09:22,312 --> 00:09:24,062
- Poutine?
- That's not dirty.

214
00:09:24,064 --> 00:09:25,457
It's just super Canadian.

215
00:09:25,459 --> 00:09:28,274
- "Chitty Chitty Bang Bang".
- Oh, with Dick Van Dyke.

216
00:09:28,276 --> 00:09:30,110
The owner of one of the most authentic

217
00:09:30,112 --> 00:09:31,820
English accents in
the history of cinema.

218
00:09:31,822 --> 00:09:33,154
- What do you got?
- "The Broken Tap".

219
00:09:33,156 --> 00:09:35,282
All right. That's not a complaint,
that's an actual play name?

220
00:09:35,284 --> 00:09:37,492
Think Man City will leak
a lot of goals from it.

221
00:09:37,494 --> 00:09:39,286
Whoa!

222
00:09:39,288 --> 00:09:40,579
Oh. Nice. Yeah?

223
00:09:40,581 --> 00:09:42,914
- "Loki's Toboggan".
- "The Upside-Down Taxi".

224
00:09:42,916 --> 00:09:45,167
- "Hadrian's Wall".
- "Dirty Martini".

225
00:09:45,169 --> 00:09:48,086
Oh, I'd love to run that play
three times right now. I love it.

226
00:09:48,088 --> 00:09:50,046
Do me a favor and toss
"Lasso Special" up there

227
00:09:50,048 --> 00:09:51,298
just for the heck of it too.

228
00:09:51,300 --> 00:09:52,802
All right, guys. Tell you right now,

229
00:09:52,804 --> 00:09:53,805
we're gonna go out there,

230
00:09:53,807 --> 00:09:56,011
and we're gonna learn a bunch
of these plays, you hear?

231
00:09:56,013 --> 00:10:00,031
Come Sunday, we're gonna hit
Man City with the chaos hammer!

232
00:10:00,033 --> 00:10:02,058
- Yeah!
- Let's go!

233
00:10:06,732 --> 00:10:08,648
No. Sam, not wax.

234
00:10:08,650 --> 00:10:11,653
- Ah, okay.
- Pomade. Pomade.

235
00:10:12,779 --> 00:10:15,449
Yo, Jamie Tartt. It's you, yeah?

236
00:10:16,909 --> 00:10:18,325
Let me get an ussie.

237
00:10:18,327 --> 00:10:19,576
A what?

238
00:10:19,578 --> 00:10:22,206
Oh.

239
00:10:23,207 --> 00:10:24,748
Wicked.

240
00:10:24,750 --> 00:10:26,875
I can't believe you got
dumped by Richmond.

241
00:10:26,877 --> 00:10:28,418
Super embarrassing for you, yeah?

242
00:10:28,420 --> 00:10:31,213
Eh, well, I got fucked by Lasso. So...

243
00:10:31,215 --> 00:10:33,800
He likes you now though. He talked
about you on telly, didn't he?

244
00:10:34,676 --> 00:10:36,843
What are you on about, you posh twat?

245
00:10:36,845 --> 00:10:38,345
Trent Crimm, The Independent.

246
00:10:38,347 --> 00:10:40,764
Any bad blood between
you and Jamie Tartt?

247
00:10:40,766 --> 00:10:43,225
Jamie? No. That's a special
young man right there.

248
00:10:43,227 --> 00:10:45,101
Got talent for days, works hard,

249
00:10:45,103 --> 00:10:47,604
and he's got a jawline like
the White Cliffs of Dover.

250
00:10:47,606 --> 00:10:49,022
I'm always rootin' for him.

251
00:10:49,024 --> 00:10:50,859
- What?
- Classic mind games, innit?

252
00:10:52,152 --> 00:10:53,818
Right. You can fuck off.

253
00:10:53,820 --> 00:10:55,239
Whoa!

254
00:11:06,509 --> 00:11:08,719
You're fucking joking.

255
00:11:12,714 --> 00:11:14,714
Oh, yeah, Roy, Jamie's coming over.

256
00:11:14,716 --> 00:11:17,259
Oh, is he? Shall I make scones?

257
00:11:17,261 --> 00:11:18,426
I don't like scones.

258
00:11:18,428 --> 00:11:20,220
I'm not making scones, you idiot.

259
00:11:20,222 --> 00:11:22,099
Good, 'cause I don't even like 'em.

260
00:11:23,517 --> 00:11:25,183
What's that?

261
00:11:25,185 --> 00:11:26,395
I made you coffee.

262
00:11:27,771 --> 00:11:28,854
Well, then, what's this?

263
00:11:28,856 --> 00:11:30,522
I brought you coffee.

264
00:11:30,524 --> 00:11:31,525
Oh.

265
00:11:36,613 --> 00:11:39,281
All right, Jamie, what was it
that you wanted to talk about?

266
00:11:39,283 --> 00:11:42,075
Not gonna say it in front
of this dry old shit.

267
00:11:42,077 --> 00:11:43,912
Why? He won't say anything. Will you?

268
00:11:46,373 --> 00:11:47,374
Missed.

269
00:11:48,458 --> 00:11:50,876
Ted Lasso is trying to play
fucking mind games with me.

270
00:11:50,878 --> 00:11:53,712
Saying nice shit about me on
the telly. Trying to get in my head.

271
00:11:53,714 --> 00:11:56,131
- He does like you.
- You're as full of shit as he is.

272
00:11:56,133 --> 00:11:58,258
Oi. Mind your fucking manners.

273
00:11:58,260 --> 00:11:59,467
All right, RoboCop.

274
00:11:59,469 --> 00:12:02,804
Jamie, not everyone in
your life is out to get you.

275
00:12:02,806 --> 00:12:04,308
I am.

276
00:12:05,225 --> 00:12:07,726
What? Thought you respected honesty.

277
00:12:07,728 --> 00:12:09,561
I do.

278
00:12:09,563 --> 00:12:13,190
Oh, that is disgusting.

279
00:12:13,192 --> 00:12:16,610
Look, Keeley. When you're done
feeding mushy peas to this old fart,

280
00:12:16,612 --> 00:12:17,821
then you give me a call.

281
00:12:18,922 --> 00:12:21,884
Look forward to seeing you tomorrow.
Enjoy the view from the bench.

282
00:12:27,080 --> 00:12:28,830
What?

283
00:12:28,832 --> 00:12:30,540
Well, now I want mushy peas.

284
00:12:32,252 --> 00:12:35,378
Dad, when I see you coach soccer on TV,

285
00:12:35,380 --> 00:12:38,298
it doesn't look like
you're doing anything.

286
00:12:38,300 --> 00:12:42,052
Well, it's 'cause I'm not. All right?

287
00:12:42,054 --> 00:12:44,346
It ain't like being a football
coach back home, kiddo.

288
00:12:44,348 --> 00:12:46,973
I got a lot less control, 'cause
once the game gets going,

289
00:12:46,975 --> 00:12:48,400
I can't tell my fellas what to do.

290
00:12:48,402 --> 00:12:50,894
So I just gotta hope that everything
I've been trying to teach 'em

291
00:12:50,896 --> 00:12:52,437
made some sort of impact on 'em,

292
00:12:52,439 --> 00:12:53,897
and that they'll make
the right decisions

293
00:12:53,899 --> 00:12:55,690
when they're out there on their own.

294
00:12:55,692 --> 00:12:58,028
You know, it's kind of like
being a dad, I guess, huh?

295
00:13:00,155 --> 00:13:02,405
How much did you get of
that before you checked out?

296
00:13:02,407 --> 00:13:04,785
- I drew a robot.
- That's cool, bud.

297
00:13:06,078 --> 00:13:08,662
The Richmond faithful
gather on a crucial night.

298
00:13:08,664 --> 00:13:12,040
Win and they stay up.
Lose and they go down.

299
00:13:12,042 --> 00:13:15,252
They come here full of hope,
but as they know all too well,

300
00:13:15,254 --> 00:13:16,920
it's the hope that kills you.

301
00:13:16,922 --> 00:13:18,004
Oh, this sport.

302
00:13:18,006 --> 00:13:20,592
I'd forgotten how stressful it is
when you actually give a shit.

303
00:13:21,635 --> 00:13:23,637
- I have a confession to make.
- Ooh.

304
00:13:24,471 --> 00:13:26,304
I've never really cared about football.

305
00:13:26,306 --> 00:13:29,891
I know. I know it sounds insane,
but I know how to act at a match.

306
00:13:29,893 --> 00:13:32,519
"Referee!"

307
00:13:32,521 --> 00:13:34,479
"Offside, you turnip!"

308
00:13:34,481 --> 00:13:36,525
- God, you're awful.
- You believed me.

309
00:13:37,401 --> 00:13:40,195
It's just that my heart has
never really been in it, you know?

310
00:13:41,864 --> 00:13:43,031
But today...

311
00:13:45,868 --> 00:13:47,578
today, I care very much.

312
00:13:50,289 --> 00:13:53,915
Arlo White here, with former
England international, Chris Powell,

313
00:13:53,917 --> 00:13:56,751
live from the Dogtrack,
Nelson Road Stadium,

314
00:13:56,753 --> 00:13:58,545
the home of AFC Richmond,

315
00:13:58,547 --> 00:14:00,881
who tonight host the
mighty Manchester City.

316
00:14:00,883 --> 00:14:02,363
Yoo-hoo! You like my new shirt?

317
00:14:03,302 --> 00:14:04,593
Well, look at you.

318
00:14:04,595 --> 00:14:06,803
It's David meets Goliath.

319
00:14:06,805 --> 00:14:09,639
If David forgot to put his
stone in his slingshot, Arlo.

320
00:14:09,641 --> 00:14:10,724
These are on me.

321
00:14:10,726 --> 00:14:12,184
Thanks, Mae.

322
00:14:12,186 --> 00:14:14,304
- Good luck group hug?
- No.

323
00:14:15,647 --> 00:14:17,983
- Richmond.
- Richmond.

324
00:14:19,735 --> 00:14:22,027
Okay, here we are. Family Higgins.

325
00:14:22,029 --> 00:14:27,407
This is Terry, Kris, Dana, Stevie.

326
00:14:27,409 --> 00:14:30,660
How many kids do you have,
Higgins? Jesus Christ.

327
00:14:30,662 --> 00:14:32,913
And this is our eldest, Lindsay.

328
00:14:32,915 --> 00:14:33,916
Good evening.

329
00:14:34,708 --> 00:14:36,333
Forgive me, Father.

330
00:14:36,335 --> 00:14:38,793
Don't worry. He's a cool priest.

331
00:14:38,795 --> 00:14:40,462
When your parents have
you out of wedlock,

332
00:14:40,464 --> 00:14:43,507
it allows you space to explore
life's little gray areas.

333
00:14:43,509 --> 00:14:45,594
- Come on, Richmond!
- Come on!

334
00:14:46,428 --> 00:14:48,762
With the Richmond
fans in full voice, Chris,

335
00:14:48,764 --> 00:14:50,389
how do the players in the locker room

336
00:14:50,391 --> 00:14:53,183
feel to be on the brink of relegation?

337
00:14:53,185 --> 00:14:55,519
It's a tremendous
amount of pressure, Arlo.

338
00:14:55,521 --> 00:14:56,978
To get the result they need,

339
00:14:56,980 --> 00:14:59,231
it will have to start
with veteran leadership.

340
00:15:02,528 --> 00:15:04,402
Isaac.

341
00:15:04,404 --> 00:15:05,572
Yeah?

342
00:15:09,785 --> 00:15:11,578
Never stop breaking TVs.

343
00:15:25,509 --> 00:15:28,178
All right, now, fellas.
Hey, let's focus up, huh?

344
00:15:32,683 --> 00:15:35,183
So I've been hearing this
phrase y'all got over here

345
00:15:35,185 --> 00:15:37,604
that I ain't too crazy about.

346
00:15:39,022 --> 00:15:40,691
"It's the hope that kills you".

347
00:15:42,693 --> 00:15:43,694
Y'all know that?

348
00:15:46,154 --> 00:15:47,698
I disagree, you know?

349
00:15:48,991 --> 00:15:51,493
I think it's the lack of hope
that comes and gets you.

350
00:15:53,161 --> 00:15:54,663
See, I believe in hope.

351
00:15:55,914 --> 00:15:57,457
I believe in belief.

352
00:15:59,793 --> 00:16:03,380
Now, where I'm from, we
got a saying too, yeah?

353
00:16:04,298 --> 00:16:06,548
A question, actually.

354
00:16:06,550 --> 00:16:08,927
"Do you believe in miracles?"

355
00:16:11,388 --> 00:16:13,891
Now, I don't need y'all to
answer that question for me...

356
00:16:15,267 --> 00:16:18,185
but I do want you to answer
that question for yourselves.

357
00:16:18,187 --> 00:16:19,188
Right now.

358
00:16:20,522 --> 00:16:23,650
Do you believe in miracles?

359
00:16:26,111 --> 00:16:27,404
And if you do...

360
00:16:29,281 --> 00:16:31,961
then I want y'all to circle up with
me right now. Come on. Let's go.

361
00:16:33,619 --> 00:16:34,745
Get 'em in here.

362
00:16:37,289 --> 00:16:39,124
All right, Captain. Let 'em know.

363
00:16:44,129 --> 00:16:46,423
Let's go, Skipper, let's go.

364
00:16:47,466 --> 00:16:48,926
All right, Captain. Let 'em know.

365
00:16:49,843 --> 00:16:51,053
Richmond on 12.

366
00:16:51,929 --> 00:16:55,347
One, two, three,

367
00:16:55,349 --> 00:16:59,267
four, five, six,

368
00:16:59,269 --> 00:17:03,647
seven, nine, ten, eleven, twelve!

369
00:17:03,649 --> 00:17:05,481
Richmond!

370
00:17:05,483 --> 00:17:07,069
Go Richmond!

371
00:17:07,903 --> 00:17:09,443
Let's go!

372
00:17:09,445 --> 00:17:11,613
Is that miracle thing
from a movie or real life?

373
00:17:11,615 --> 00:17:12,697
Both.

374
00:17:12,699 --> 00:17:15,951
Among the many subplots,
the return of Jamie Tartt,

375
00:17:15,953 --> 00:17:18,202
who enjoyed a successful
loan period here,

376
00:17:18,204 --> 00:17:21,081
but had an infamous
on-pitch dustup with Roy Kent,

377
00:17:21,083 --> 00:17:23,083
who is not starting today.

378
00:17:23,085 --> 00:17:24,375
I really can't remember

379
00:17:24,377 --> 00:17:26,630
seeing Roy Kent on the
bench for a big match.

380
00:17:27,673 --> 00:17:29,299
Hey, Jamie! Good luck!

381
00:17:30,259 --> 00:17:32,050
Fucking mind games.

382
00:17:32,052 --> 00:17:34,761
It's Richmond versus Manchester City.

383
00:17:34,763 --> 00:17:36,179
And we're off.

384
00:17:36,181 --> 00:17:37,432
Here we go.

385
00:17:38,767 --> 00:17:41,977
Hendrick takes. Outside for Corwin.

386
00:17:41,979 --> 00:17:44,271
Oh, and he puts Tartt through on goal.

387
00:17:44,273 --> 00:17:45,647
No, no, no.

388
00:17:45,649 --> 00:17:47,359
He has a man open to his left.

389
00:17:48,193 --> 00:17:50,068
But he takes it himself!

390
00:17:50,070 --> 00:17:51,572
And Zoreaux is there.

391
00:17:53,365 --> 00:17:54,489
Nice stop!

392
00:17:54,491 --> 00:17:56,575
That's a solid save from Zorro.

393
00:17:56,577 --> 00:17:58,869
Yeah, Chris. It's pronounced "Zoreaux".

394
00:17:58,871 --> 00:18:00,078
Thirty minutes gone.

395
00:18:00,080 --> 00:18:02,664
Richmond with an opportunity
here on the counterattack.

396
00:18:02,666 --> 00:18:05,458
Obisanya with an
inch-perfect through ball.

397
00:18:05,460 --> 00:18:08,092
Oh! Winchester was clearly offside.

398
00:18:08,094 --> 00:18:09,254
Come on, now!

399
00:18:09,256 --> 00:18:11,298
- Explain to me how that's offsides.
- What?

400
00:18:11,300 --> 00:18:12,674
No, I'm serious. How is that offside?

401
00:18:12,676 --> 00:18:15,343
I don't understand that yet. You...

402
00:18:15,345 --> 00:18:18,430
And here comes Lasso's assistant
coach to review their tactics.

403
00:18:18,432 --> 00:18:20,182
What chess moves do they have in store?

404
00:18:20,184 --> 00:18:22,434
When the vinegar was next to the
Heineken, they weren't offside.

405
00:18:22,436 --> 00:18:24,060
It's not when the vinegar
catches the ball,

406
00:18:24,062 --> 00:18:25,729
it's when ketchup passes the ball.

407
00:18:25,731 --> 00:18:27,105
- Yes, I understand now.
- Okay.

408
00:18:27,107 --> 00:18:29,608
A shot from Dixon...
Oh! Pushed over the bar.

409
00:18:29,610 --> 00:18:30,692
Corner, corner!

410
00:18:30,694 --> 00:18:32,986
Agony for Dixon, but
a corner for Richmond.

411
00:18:32,988 --> 00:18:34,279
Come on, Richmond!

412
00:18:34,281 --> 00:18:35,822
Corner kick, corner kick.

413
00:18:35,824 --> 00:18:38,033
- Go for the Sandman. Call Sandman.
- What? Sandman.

414
00:18:38,035 --> 00:18:40,952
Sandman! Guys, the Sandman!

415
00:18:40,954 --> 00:18:42,495
- Sandman!
- Here we go.

416
00:18:42,497 --> 00:18:43,999
Rojas to take the corner.

417
00:18:45,584 --> 00:18:47,792
It's a dummy. Oh, and
another one. What is this?

418
00:18:47,794 --> 00:18:49,419
Dixon again!

419
00:18:49,421 --> 00:18:51,254
No! Hamlin saves with his foot.

420
00:18:51,256 --> 00:18:53,798
Shit.

421
00:18:53,800 --> 00:18:56,593
Ooh, baby, the Sandman almost
rocked 'em to sleep right there.

422
00:18:56,595 --> 00:18:58,511
A bit of trickery from Ted Lasso.

423
00:18:58,513 --> 00:18:59,679
Haven't seen that one before.

424
00:18:59,681 --> 00:19:01,932
Nice move though. Nice move.

425
00:19:03,185 --> 00:19:06,937
And that's halftime. The score is 0-0.

426
00:19:06,939 --> 00:19:09,523
Shockingly, Richmond are still in this,

427
00:19:09,525 --> 00:19:12,692
thanks to the stellar
play of Zoreaux in goal.

428
00:19:12,694 --> 00:19:14,402
Okay, well, you got... It's Reynolds.

429
00:19:14,404 --> 00:19:16,279
No, you got to shore up
your defense. You have to...

430
00:19:16,281 --> 00:19:18,406
Okay, you know what? Never mind.
I'm just gonna go with my gut.

431
00:19:18,408 --> 00:19:19,950
Somebody check the Crystal Palace score.

432
00:19:19,952 --> 00:19:21,618
Hey, no. No, no, no. Absolutely not.

433
00:19:21,620 --> 00:19:24,579
I don't want to hear about any other
game going on any other place.

434
00:19:24,581 --> 00:19:27,290
Okay? Look, we are
not playing for a tie.

435
00:19:27,292 --> 00:19:29,751
Ain't nobody here
gonna kiss their sister.

436
00:19:29,753 --> 00:19:31,711
What?

437
00:19:31,713 --> 00:19:33,468
Which is an American phrase

438
00:19:33,470 --> 00:19:35,674
that I'm now realizing
does not exist here,

439
00:19:35,676 --> 00:19:37,342
and that's good, 'cause it's creepy,

440
00:19:37,344 --> 00:19:39,468
and I hate it myself, I
don't know why I said it.

441
00:19:39,470 --> 00:19:41,638
I think it's just the adrenaline,
the nerves and all that.

442
00:19:41,640 --> 00:19:43,723
But we are playing for a win.

443
00:19:43,725 --> 00:19:45,936
Win and in. You hear?

444
00:19:46,937 --> 00:19:49,437
- I can't hear your nods. Do you hear me?
- Yes, Coach.

445
00:19:49,439 --> 00:19:52,149
Okay, good. All right. Roy, you
are starting the second half.

446
00:19:52,151 --> 00:19:53,735
Go ahead and start warming up. Let's go.

447
00:19:53,737 --> 00:19:54,989
Gentlemen, follow me.

448
00:19:59,283 --> 00:20:02,158
And here comes Roy Kent.

449
00:20:02,160 --> 00:20:05,495
Roy-o!

450
00:20:05,497 --> 00:20:07,240
A surprising move from Lasso.

451
00:20:07,242 --> 00:20:09,916
Manchester City's speed is
causing Richmond problems,

452
00:20:09,918 --> 00:20:14,337
and he brings on Roy Kent,
who is, to be polite, very slow.

453
00:20:14,339 --> 00:20:17,090
That's 'cause he's a fucking
octogenarian. Look at him.

454
00:20:17,092 --> 00:20:19,134
City with a real opportunity here.

455
00:20:19,136 --> 00:20:20,927
Scharfenberg into the box.

456
00:20:20,929 --> 00:20:23,680
Oh, it's a penalty against Richmond.

457
00:20:23,682 --> 00:20:25,682
- How? How?
- He didn't touch him!

458
00:20:25,684 --> 00:20:29,062
Zoreaux in position. Hendrick to take.

459
00:20:31,231 --> 00:20:32,689
He scores.

460
00:20:35,444 --> 00:20:38,987
City finally get past
Zoreaux, and it's 1-0.

461
00:20:38,989 --> 00:20:41,031
It's the goal that's been coming.

462
00:20:41,033 --> 00:20:44,743
City take the lead, and
the Dogtrack falls silent.

463
00:20:44,745 --> 00:20:47,581
We're only one goal down. There's
still a chance. Come on, Richmond!

464
00:20:47,583 --> 00:20:49,247
I love you when you give a shit.

465
00:20:49,249 --> 00:20:52,167
Go, Richmond!

466
00:20:52,169 --> 00:20:54,336
Jamie Tartt with the breakaway.

467
00:20:54,338 --> 00:20:57,174
If he scores here, it could
be curtains for Richmond.

468
00:20:58,175 --> 00:20:59,584
No one can catch him.

469
00:21:00,511 --> 00:21:01,511
Go, Roy, go!

470
00:21:03,738 --> 00:21:07,825
Hold on. Can you believe it? It's Kent!

471
00:21:12,022 --> 00:21:13,939
Yeah! Attaboy, Roy!

472
00:21:13,941 --> 00:21:15,315
Roy! Roy!

473
00:21:15,317 --> 00:21:19,027
Once again, the tortoise
has stopped the hare.

474
00:21:19,029 --> 00:21:21,365
That's how you put him down, Roy!

475
00:21:24,868 --> 00:21:26,618
What's the matter?

476
00:21:26,620 --> 00:21:27,744
He's not getting up.

477
00:21:27,746 --> 00:21:29,788
Now this looks serious.

478
00:21:29,790 --> 00:21:33,250
It was a fair tackle on Tartt,
but Kent may have paid the price.

479
00:21:33,252 --> 00:21:35,335
- And they're sending out the physio.
- Get up, Roy!

480
00:21:35,337 --> 00:21:37,254
Roy. Roy, are you okay?

481
00:21:37,256 --> 00:21:40,257
Fuck. I fucked my knee.

482
00:21:40,259 --> 00:21:43,134
- Want me to call for the stretcher, Roy?
- No, just help me up.

483
00:21:43,136 --> 00:21:46,221
Roy Kent! He's here, he's there...

484
00:21:46,223 --> 00:21:47,681
What the fuck are you doing?

485
00:21:47,683 --> 00:21:49,349
... he's every-fucking-where. Roy Kent!

486
00:21:49,351 --> 00:21:50,433
Listen.

487
00:21:50,435 --> 00:21:53,395
Roy Kent! He's here, he's there,

488
00:21:53,397 --> 00:21:55,939
he's every-fucking-where. Roy Kent!

489
00:21:55,941 --> 00:21:58,900
Roy Kent! He's here, he's there,

490
00:21:58,902 --> 00:22:03,405
he's every-fucking-where.
Roy Kent! Roy Kent!

491
00:22:03,407 --> 00:22:06,241
He's here, he's there,
he's every-fucking-where.

492
00:22:06,243 --> 00:22:07,534
Roy Kent!

493
00:22:07,536 --> 00:22:10,328
Well, we apologize
for the fruity language

494
00:22:10,330 --> 00:22:12,138
as the crowd serenades Roy Kent

495
00:22:12,140 --> 00:22:13,498
with a song that's echoed

496
00:22:13,500 --> 00:22:15,959
through the Premier League
for more than a decade.

497
00:22:15,961 --> 00:22:18,461
He's here, he's there,
he's every-fucking-where...

498
00:22:18,463 --> 00:22:19,921
And he's getting up.

499
00:22:19,923 --> 00:22:22,382
Roy Kent!

500
00:22:22,384 --> 00:22:24,636
Roy Kent will never
leave on a stretcher.

501
00:22:26,138 --> 00:22:32,350
Roy Kent! He's here, he's there,
he's every-fucking-where! Roy Kent!

502
00:22:32,352 --> 00:22:34,269
Roy Kent!

503
00:22:34,271 --> 00:22:37,022
He's here, he's there,
he's every-fucking-where!

504
00:22:37,024 --> 00:22:40,412
Roy Kent! Roy Kent!

505
00:22:40,414 --> 00:22:43,844
As Kent comes off, he
claps the fans in gratitude.

506
00:22:43,846 --> 00:22:45,430
Kent has been a fan favorite

507
00:22:45,432 --> 00:22:48,886
because he always left everything
he had out on the pitch,

508
00:22:48,888 --> 00:22:50,889
and he did so tonight.

509
00:22:54,416 --> 00:22:57,753
Chris, does this almost
feel like a farewell to you?

510
00:22:59,671 --> 00:23:01,296
Well, you have to wonder, Arlo.

511
00:23:01,298 --> 00:23:03,842
At his age, with that injury...

512
00:23:04,664 --> 00:23:06,415
Personally, I'm sorry to say,

513
00:23:06,417 --> 00:23:08,011
I think this may be the last time

514
00:23:08,013 --> 00:23:10,671
we ever see the great
Roy Kent lace up his boots.

515
00:23:28,492 --> 00:23:30,410
You're not allowed
back here during a game.

516
00:23:35,040 --> 00:23:36,625
I told you, you have to get out.

517
00:23:39,044 --> 00:23:41,088
I mean it. Stay the fuck away from me.

518
00:24:13,453 --> 00:24:15,330
What the heck is going on...

519
00:24:16,290 --> 00:24:18,917
That's the sound of 26,000
people checking mobiles.

520
00:24:23,338 --> 00:24:26,173
Oh, my God. Palace won 6-0.

521
00:24:26,175 --> 00:24:27,342
But then that means...

522
00:24:28,218 --> 00:24:29,593
All we need is a tie.

523
00:24:29,595 --> 00:24:32,429
- We just need a tie, boys!
- We just need a tie!

524
00:24:32,431 --> 00:24:33,974
Come on! Let's go!

525
00:24:35,767 --> 00:24:37,269
Come on, Richmond!

526
00:24:39,104 --> 00:24:43,607
Three minutes of added time is all
that's left in Richmond's season.

527
00:24:43,609 --> 00:24:45,483
Montlaur runs left.

528
00:24:45,485 --> 00:24:48,153
Ooh! Fouled hard by Scharfenberg.

529
00:24:48,155 --> 00:24:50,322
There you go, Richard! You
sell the crap outta that!

530
00:24:50,324 --> 00:24:53,617
Montlaur earns Richmond
a late free kick.

531
00:24:53,619 --> 00:24:55,535
I think he's making a meal of it, Arlo.

532
00:24:55,537 --> 00:24:57,495
City players do too.

533
00:24:57,497 --> 00:24:59,355
No, Chris. He's definitely hurt.

534
00:24:59,357 --> 00:25:01,291
No, no, he's absolutely fine.

535
00:25:01,293 --> 00:25:02,667
Yeah!

536
00:25:02,669 --> 00:25:06,838
Oi! Lasso Special! Lasso Special!

537
00:25:06,840 --> 00:25:08,632
Holy smokes.

538
00:25:08,634 --> 00:25:09,799
Lasso Special!

539
00:25:09,801 --> 00:25:12,219
Manchester City are more
worried about yelling at the official

540
00:25:12,221 --> 00:25:15,013
than they are about... whatever
it is Richmond are doing.

541
00:25:15,015 --> 00:25:17,015
- Hold on, hold on.
- Actually, what are they doing?

542
00:25:17,017 --> 00:25:19,059
Ref! They can't do that!
What are you doing?

543
00:25:19,061 --> 00:25:21,478
They're gonna run it. I didn't even
call it. They're gonna just run it!

544
00:25:21,480 --> 00:25:24,231
I don't know what's going
on here, but it looks like...

545
00:25:24,233 --> 00:25:25,943
Is this American football?

546
00:25:26,818 --> 00:25:28,737
What the fuck is that?

547
00:25:29,488 --> 00:25:30,570
What's he doing?

548
00:25:30,572 --> 00:25:33,240
I've never seen anything like this.

549
00:25:33,242 --> 00:25:34,618
- Motion!
- Get in line!

550
00:25:35,452 --> 00:25:37,454
Obisanya goes in motion.

551
00:25:38,789 --> 00:25:41,748
If Richmond are trying to
confuse Manchester City,

552
00:25:41,750 --> 00:25:44,125
you have to say it's working.

553
00:25:44,127 --> 00:25:46,127
It's working on me too, Arlo.

554
00:25:46,129 --> 00:25:47,212
Blue 48!

555
00:25:47,214 --> 00:25:49,381
Is Zoreaux yelling numbers and colors?

556
00:25:49,383 --> 00:25:50,924
Hut, hut, hut! Hike!

557
00:25:50,926 --> 00:25:53,929
One, two, three, four...

558
00:25:54,680 --> 00:25:58,098
The Richmond players fan
out. City's defense is in chaos.

559
00:25:58,100 --> 00:26:02,602
And it's a Hail Mary to
Obisanya, who is wide open!

560
00:26:02,604 --> 00:26:04,312
Rojas is all alone on the left.

561
00:26:04,314 --> 00:26:05,649
- Dani's onside.
- Yeah, he is.

562
00:26:12,155 --> 00:26:13,490
Rojas!

563
00:26:19,413 --> 00:26:20,539
- Yes!
- Yeah!

564
00:26:22,040 --> 00:26:24,666
The injury time equalizer
from Dani Rojas,

565
00:26:24,668 --> 00:26:27,504
surely enough to keep Richmond
in the Premier League!

566
00:26:29,590 --> 00:26:32,674
We got a tie! We got a tie!

567
00:26:32,676 --> 00:26:35,137
- Yeah!
- We're staying in!

568
00:26:44,020 --> 00:26:45,103
Coach!

569
00:26:45,105 --> 00:26:48,231
Straight from the kickoff,
oh, City are back on the attack.

570
00:26:48,233 --> 00:26:51,484
There he is again. Ooh, Tartt
loses Winchester with ease.

571
00:26:51,486 --> 00:26:53,278
It's only him and the goalkeeper.

572
00:26:53,280 --> 00:26:54,280
No.

573
00:26:56,325 --> 00:26:58,658
Oh, he makes the extra pass.

574
00:26:58,660 --> 00:27:00,493
Hendrick buries it.

575
00:27:06,084 --> 00:27:08,335
Manchester City win,

576
00:27:08,337 --> 00:27:12,633
and AFC Richmond's time in
the Premier League is over.

577
00:27:38,575 --> 00:27:40,700
We can "woulda, coulda,
shoulda" all day long,

578
00:27:40,702 --> 00:27:44,081
but, uh, that's... it's a
tough loss. It's a tough loss.

579
00:27:45,374 --> 00:27:46,706
It's over.

580
00:27:46,708 --> 00:27:48,359
I do wanna congratulate Man City

581
00:27:48,361 --> 00:27:50,627
on their win though,
and their coach, Pep.

582
00:27:50,629 --> 00:27:53,340
Boy, did he look sharp
tonight. Yeah, my man...

583
00:28:10,482 --> 00:28:13,608
You! Do you really think I would've
come all the way down to London

584
00:28:13,610 --> 00:28:15,612
to watch my son pass the ball?

585
00:28:16,804 --> 00:28:18,070
You could've scored the winner.

586
00:28:18,072 --> 00:28:20,576
You're better than that, Jamie. Fuck!

587
00:28:31,211 --> 00:28:32,379
So, look, I...

588
00:28:33,422 --> 00:28:35,799
Oh, I'm good. Thank you. Yeah.

589
00:28:41,096 --> 00:28:43,763
Hey. Y'all played a
heck of a game out there.

590
00:28:43,765 --> 00:28:47,434
We may not have won, but
y'all definitely succeeded.

591
00:28:47,436 --> 00:28:51,062
I mean, you gave the
champs 90 minutes of hell.

592
00:28:51,064 --> 00:28:52,230
Zoreaux, where you at?

593
00:28:52,232 --> 00:28:54,858
That dude had more saves
than a Baptist preacher.

594
00:28:54,860 --> 00:28:57,104
Give it up for Zoreaux. Yeah.

595
00:28:58,280 --> 00:29:02,532
That's right. What about Roy?
Roy chased down his grandson.

596
00:29:02,534 --> 00:29:05,454
Stopped him from getting an easy one.

597
00:29:08,665 --> 00:29:12,209
Now, look, this is a sad moment
right here. For all of us.

598
00:29:12,211 --> 00:29:14,169
And there ain't nothing I can say,

599
00:29:14,171 --> 00:29:17,047
standing in front of you right
now, that can take that away.

600
00:29:17,049 --> 00:29:18,884
But please do me this favor, will you?

601
00:29:20,385 --> 00:29:23,136
Lift your heads up and look
around this locker room.

602
00:29:23,138 --> 00:29:24,181
Yeah?

603
00:29:26,266 --> 00:29:27,768
Look at everybody else in here.

604
00:29:29,603 --> 00:29:31,394
And I want you to be grateful

605
00:29:31,396 --> 00:29:36,276
that you're going through this sad
moment with all these other folks.

606
00:29:37,569 --> 00:29:40,320
Because I promise you,

607
00:29:40,322 --> 00:29:42,864
there is something worse
out there than being sad,

608
00:29:42,866 --> 00:29:45,202
and that is being alone and being sad.

609
00:29:47,621 --> 00:29:49,540
Ain't nobody in this room alone.

610
00:29:52,918 --> 00:29:57,462
Sam, do you remember what
animal has the shortest memory?

611
00:29:57,464 --> 00:29:58,672
A goldfish.

612
00:29:58,674 --> 00:30:00,757
That's right. It's a goldfish.

613
00:30:00,759 --> 00:30:03,301
Sam, what do you think we should all do

614
00:30:03,303 --> 00:30:07,641
once we get done being sad
and/or angry about this situation?

615
00:30:08,809 --> 00:30:10,600
I think we should all be a goldfish.

616
00:30:10,602 --> 00:30:12,310
I agree.

617
00:30:12,312 --> 00:30:14,896
Let's be sad now. Let's be sad together.

618
00:30:14,898 --> 00:30:16,984
And then we can be a gosh-darn goldfish.

619
00:30:19,862 --> 00:30:21,405
Onward. Forward.

620
00:30:33,417 --> 00:30:34,418
What do you want?

621
00:30:39,882 --> 00:30:40,964
Night, Jamie.

622
00:30:43,177 --> 00:30:44,261
A love letter?

623
00:31:16,418 --> 00:31:19,127
We'll have a conversation about that.

624
00:31:19,129 --> 00:31:20,212
Hey, y'all.

625
00:31:20,214 --> 00:31:22,382
- I'll leave you two to talk.
- Thank you, Leslie.

626
00:31:24,092 --> 00:31:26,259
Leslie? Is that your first name?

627
00:31:26,261 --> 00:31:30,347
It was my mother's name. I'm
what's known as a feminine junior.

628
00:31:30,349 --> 00:31:32,518
Oh. Cool.

629
00:31:36,480 --> 00:31:37,648
Please. Take a seat.

630
00:31:42,945 --> 00:31:44,027
Tea?

631
00:31:44,029 --> 00:31:46,947
No. Tea and I are still
on a lifelong hiatus, yeah.

632
00:31:46,949 --> 00:31:48,865
I'll take a little water though, please.

633
00:31:48,867 --> 00:31:52,244
Well, Ted. That was certainly
a heartbreaking result.

634
00:31:52,246 --> 00:31:53,954
Yes, ma'am. And I've
been thinking about it.

635
00:31:53,956 --> 00:31:57,332
I think it's mighty unfair
that you have to fire me, so...

636
00:31:57,334 --> 00:31:58,457
If it's all the same to you,

637
00:31:58,459 --> 00:32:00,771
I'd like to spare you
the trouble and just quit.

638
00:32:01,547 --> 00:32:05,215
Um, this here is my
letter of resignation.

639
00:32:05,217 --> 00:32:08,301
Um... I wrote it on the
back of a takeout menu,

640
00:32:08,303 --> 00:32:11,304
but it's in an envelope, and I
signed it, so, you know, it's legit.

641
00:32:11,306 --> 00:32:13,515
You listen to me, Coach Lasso.

642
00:32:13,517 --> 00:32:15,850
You are not going anywhere,

643
00:32:15,852 --> 00:32:19,439
'cause we have work to do next season.

644
00:32:23,861 --> 00:32:26,528
Well, okay. All right, then.

645
00:32:26,530 --> 00:32:28,864
Yeah. So, wait. Tell me this, though.

646
00:32:28,866 --> 00:32:32,158
The teams that get relegated, they
can get, uh, un-relegated, yeah?

647
00:32:32,160 --> 00:32:33,660
They can get promoted.

648
00:32:33,662 --> 00:32:35,829
So then, next year we
get ourselves a promotion,

649
00:32:35,831 --> 00:32:37,998
which looks good on any résumé.

650
00:32:38,000 --> 00:32:39,685
Then we come back to this league and...

651
00:32:40,627 --> 00:32:43,255
we do something that no one
believes we could ever do.

652
00:32:44,965 --> 00:32:46,300
Win the whole fucking thing.

653
00:32:48,760 --> 00:32:50,620
There you are.

654
00:32:53,692 --> 00:32:55,140
The bubbles.

655
00:32:55,142 --> 00:32:57,227
I'm sorry. Did I get you?

656
00:33:36,643 --> 00:33:40,143
- Synced and corrected by Firefly -
- www.addic7ed.com -

9999
00:00:0,500 --> 00:00:2,00
<font color="